It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
