This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
