in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize