New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
