It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize