is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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