bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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