He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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