Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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