discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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