There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
