every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
