ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
