If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
