watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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