Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
