i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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