It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I want her autograph on my taint
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize