dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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