Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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