when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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