I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
