based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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