Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
