in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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