I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
