I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
