Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
foreskin is a definite game changer
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
