I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
