are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
