we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
