you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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