You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
