I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize