I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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