You can't motorboat a personality
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
