Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
