My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
