Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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