Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
