I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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