Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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