Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
