I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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