everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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