how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
