My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
