Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
