Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
