I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
