The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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