i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
