hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
