found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
