no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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