my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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