Your tits are I can't wait for
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
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