we have pet lesbian snakes
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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