I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
