oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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