i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
