This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
