Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
